Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Another certificate but no tulip

In my living room I have a vase with tulips. Every one of these fabric tulips stands for a certificate that I earned in my computer career. To me it expresses that in order to remain up to date you have to work.

Last week I was invited to a lecture by Marshall B. Rosenberg in Rotterdam. Mr Rosenberg is credited with developing a method of communication called " non violent communication". I attended, and I got a certificate to prove it. It does not rate a tulip because there is no achievement for me yet.

In the hand out we got, there were list of feelings and needs. It was mentioned that the English language was not made to express feelings and needs, the Spanish language was mentioned as being much richer when you want to express either. When you think of it, it is not surprising when language can be intimidating. The choice and the appreciation of words makes all the difference. Like it was explained during the lecture, in order to change your language you have to be aware about what you say and how the effect is on the party that is on the receiving end of that language.

In this discussion about male domination that I mentioned in my previous post, the language used is a major contributing factor to the unease that is being felt. When people do not perceive that it is their very words that makes others feel uneasy, angry even discriminated it is very hard to come to an understanding. Yes, it may be that for some the English language is a second or even tertiary language, it does not negate the effects these words have; it is at best an explanation not an excuse. Bullets do kill, words do hurt.

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